Genesis 35:11
God said to him, "Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel." So he named him Israel. And God said to him, "I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body.
Reuben was the eldest son of Jacob, and expected to inherit this promise, just as God transferred the promises He made to Isaac and Abraham to Jacob. Reuben’s mother was Leah, a primary wife of Jacob.
I say primary because initially, Jacob had 2 wives - Racheal and Leah. But due to their challenges with conception, they offered their handmaids, Bilhah and Zilpah, to Jacob as concubines. Even then, Leah herself, could be deemed to not be the paséro Jacob intended as his wife.
Stay with me.
Genesis 29:21–29 explains that after Jacob worked seven years to marry Rachel, her father, Laban, then tricked him into marrying her older sister, Leah, instead. Laban justified his actions by claiming that the oldest daughter should be married first.
To make it clear:-
Laban had 2 daughters, Leah and Rachel.
Jacob wanted to marry Rachel.
Laban made him work for 7 years for Rachel.
Rachel’s father instead gave him Leah.
He had to work an additional 7 years to thereafter marry Rachel.
Leah and Rachel could not bear children.
They both offered a handmaid each, Zilpah and Bilhah, to Jacob.
Jacob now has 4 women living with him.
Ok.
These women bore children for Jacob, and the tribes are named after his 12 sons, the first being Reuben. In most ancient, and even some modern, civilizations, the firstborn male child inherited money, rank, and authority from his father. However, Reuben, though the oldest of the twelve sons of Jacob, does not inherit this from his father as the important role of ruler is given to his younger brother, Judah.
Why? Especially given that in most of the stories we read of Reuben in the Hebrew Bible, he is kind and thoughtful, collecting flowers for his mother and saving his brother Joseph from being killed. Why then did his father not hand over the reigns of the family to him?
In the midst of the many wonderful things Reuben did, a brief mention is made in Genesis 35: 22 - literally only a quarter of the sentence - that Reuben laid with Bilhah, one of his father's concubines and the mother of his brothers Dan and Naphtali.
An extended version of the Bible:-
Genesis 35:22 says, "And it came to pass, while Israel dwelt in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father's concubine; and Israel heard of it."
The next time we hear of Reuben and Jacob, it is when Jacob calls his 12 sons to bless and distribute their inheritance before he passes on. And though the issue was only mentioned slightly and he never challenged or brought it up with Reuben, scholars postulate that as a result of the issue with Bilhah, he lost the respect of his father, who said: "Unstable as water, you shall excel no longer; For when you mounted your father’s bed, You brought disgrace —my couch he mounted!" And subsequently passed over him to give leadership to Judah.
49
1 Then Jacob called for his sons and said: “Gather around so I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come.
2 “Assemble and listen, sons of Jacob; listen to your father Israel.
3 “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the first sign of my strength, excelling in honor, excelling in power.
4 Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father’s bed, onto my couch and defiled it.
Lying with your father's wife was a serious offence, according to Leviticus, and this act cost Reuben the inheritance he would have received from Jacob. Yes, you can argue that the woman was just an official side-chick, but you cannot be eating from the same pot as your father. No.
That said, especially as we are quick to assume the defilement was that Reuben slept with her, but a small part of me is not convinced. This same Reuben? This same guy that Jacob said these glowing things about? This one that argued to release Joseph? He went and slept with his step-mother’s maid? His father’s wife?
And just as I dally, I find that so also some rabbinical commentators who interpreted the story differently, saying that Reuben's disruption of Bilhah's and Jacob's beds was not through sex with Bilhah. As long as Rachel, his mother’s sister and the prime babe and apple of Jacob’s eye was alive, say these commentators, Jacob kept her bed in his tent. When Rachel died, Jacob moved Bilhah's bed into his tent - Bilhah who had been mentored by Rachel - to retain a closeness to his favourite wife. However, Reuben, Leah's eldest, felt that this move slighted his mother, who was also a primary wife, and so he moved his mother's bed into Jacob's tent and removed or overturned Bilhah's. This invasion of Jacob's privacy was viewed so gravely that the Bible equates it with adultery, and lost Reuben his first-born right to a double inheritance.
Yes, the old days were wild, but doesn’t this seem more plausible?
It is akin to saying that when my mother passed, after almost 55 years of being married to my dad, my Dad would then - say a year after her funeral - bring another woman into the house, and then we the kids would go and bundle her out. And based on that, he would remove us from his will. And men being men, would probably still go and retrieve the young woman.
Anywhichway, whether he slept with his father’s concubine, or drove her away, his father considered it an abomination and despite his many good works for the longest time, would not forgive him , and used his last breath to deny him his inheritance.
Now, look at you...
Look at your life.
Are you where you ought to be?
Despite your good works, great grades, excellent educational background, are you the person you hoped you’d be?
Do you have all the right qualities but are constantly being overlooked?
Do you ace all the tests and appraisals and simulations but never get the promotion?
Are you tall, dark and handsome but nobody will marry you?
Have you done BBL and yet, all that men want to do is sleep with you and move on?
Review your past. Review your history.
Go back in time to your youth, and the time of your fathers before you.
Have you done something so strong that there is a Jacob who has taken umbrage and kept quiet, but has neither forgiven nor forgotten about you? Is there someone somewhere twiddling their fingers and muttering ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ whenever your name comes up?
Are you Reuben?
Do you have a Jacob in your past that you need to appease?
Some of you duped friends and business partners in the guise of being sharp. Some of you are living on the luxuries your parents cornered from rightful but weak relatives, or from innocent citizens while they were civil servants. Some of you swore false witness against friends, or dishonourably chased their sisters. Or girlfriends. Or wives. Some of you even voted for Buhari…
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