Lagos Actors
Nobody:
Lagos Boys using the tried and tested, and trusted, nollywood movie script in linking a babe…
Act 1. Scene 1
Takes her to one of those noisy beer parlours with plenty, but not bright, lights.
Pours her juice
‘So, I hope this place was not too difficult to get?
beckons to the barman
‘Bro, abeg, give me 2 enikin.
And can you change the tv to Arsenal?’
Back to the omoge campus…
‘My dear, apologies, what should they bring for you? Feel free, don’t be shy. I am here for you’
laughs like an Aristo (but with insufficient funds)
Babe asks for catfish Peppersoup and one pack of berry blast
Actor: ‘Are you sure? Just that? Okay o’
Beckons to another waiter
‘Guy, abeg, give my babe p-soup, and bring juice. Tank yew.’
Back to Sisi Ologe
Actor: ‘So, did Salewa give you my many messages?
Babe feigns ignorance
Actor smiles
‘See, let us not talk too much, you understand, I want us to be gesticulates with his hands dating. Seriously. I want to settle down and marry you’
Licks lips to activate more lies
‘Let me tell you one truth, I may not have Dangote’s money o, but the one thing I can promise you is my faithfulness and fidelity, and that you will not suffer’ *Beats his chest for confidence for more lies to come* ‘As God is my witness!’
Babe smiles, takes a sip of her juice, a deep breath…
‘Hackchuli….’
His eyes anticipate good news
‘But, as you are like this, are you saying you are single? That you don’t have a wife or a serious babe somewhere?’
Our actor laughs nervously but recovers quickly
‘Me? feigns mild annoyance ‘You think I am a joker? See, it is you I have been waiting for. I have told Salewa, and infact, I don even tell my Mama to prepare for you’
Babe heaves a sigh of relief, and continues
‘If I say Salewa has not been delivering your messages, I will be lying…’
he gulps his enikin while fixating on her
she continues
‘And truth is, you are not bad as a person.
I mean, you are hanz, you have work, even though you are chubby, you are ok.
There is no girl that will say you are bad, except she is blind.’
he adjusts his shirt with fake humility
she takes another sip of her jews
‘But my problem with you men from town is that it is only when you are toasting that you boast and make these promises. And then one will find out they are all lies!
he laughs nervously
‘Okay, Gbemi, let me tell you a fact, I love you! More than anything. More than my momsy o, the woman that gave birth to me’
babe yimus in ‘talk another one’
Actor: ‘You know what? Just try me, give me just one chance, give me an opportunity to impress you!’
she capitulates to his toasting
‘Okay o, Obinna, I’ll say you said so’
Lights Fade….
Act 2. Scene 1
Two days later, she catches him in his Sienna with his wife and three kids…
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